Last night I sat with my oldest as he fell asleep. At 7 years old, he struggles with various fears. Fear of new (unknown) things, fear of the dentist, fear of not writing his words perfect, and fear of the dark. He enjoys getting to stay up a little later than his younger siblings, but often doesn’t like to fall asleep by himself. As I sat rubbing his back, encouraging him that Jesus calms our fears, teaching him to speak out truth, and praying for him… I was gently reminded of the fears that sometimes creep up in my own life as we walk this adoption road.

All kinds of fears, really. Fears involving finances, and fears about the unknowns: how long will it take us to finish our home study? It is taking longer than I planned. How will our “matching” process go, when it gets to that point? What will it be like talking to the birth mom? Seeing her face, and feeling deep brokenness for the hurt she will walk through. Fears that we don’t have what it takes. These fears sneak in every so often and try to dominate.

And as I sat rubbing Jackson’s back, I noticed him take a deep breath and close his eyes. Not a few minutes later he was breathing deeply as he fell asleep. Emotions overtook me and I too, breathed in and let the Lord remind me that He stills our fears, and He is a part of this adoption process. And I too, needed to speak TRUTH over fear. And as I did, God reminded me that He doesn’t call us to adopt, expecting that we will always “have what it takes,” but He does call us into it promising that when we DON’T have what it takes, He does. I am reminded to open up my hands and trust that when I don’t have control, He most certainly does. And I am encouraged to again, say “yes” to God, and His loving plan for our family. To say “yes” to the loving plan He has for the birth mom, and for the sweet baby she will birth.

So we take one more day in stride, filling out paperwork, taking adoption classes, and trusting minute by minute that God is here. Here in our midst; stilling fears, and reminding us that we are in His very capable and loving hands.